I’m a tall man at 6’5″ to most folks, however when in Holland to visit my mother I’m considered just average height. You might think what has a height to do with being trenchant! Being loud, acute, penetrating or impressive is not only voice but also the way one presents themselves.

I have to be aware of my height at all times especially in small rooms or when interacting with folks who are sitting or laying down in a bed. My voice might be soft but my presentation can be interpreted as trenchant. Having been made aware of this, I’m now conscientious at all times and mitigate my height whenever possible.

I would argue that same goes for people who love to get into your personal space. Just the other day, a friend I have known for many years, got into my space and literally was be less than 12-20 inches from my face for the entire conversation. It immediately raises my anxiety and fight for flight mechanism. Even if he were to whisper, I would interpret it as screaming.

Same goes for those who chose to type in all capitals. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN, YOU SHOULD BE JUDICIOUS IN USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS IN WRITTEN COMMUNICATIONS! This too will be received as someone being loud or even screaming.

My recommendation is be mindful of your mindfulness, if you don’t know how you are perceived, ask some trusted friends who have the behavioral capacity to tell you the truth. Much can be learned from these conversations on many levels.

How you present yourself physically matters!





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